Scal Mocks LeBron In Announcing His Return To Boston

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“Before anyone cared where I would play basketball, I was a kid raised in Enumclaw, Washington.  It’s where I walked.  It’s where I ran.  It’s where I did a paper route at age six.  It’s always held a special place in my heart. From the moment I signed with the Celtics, I knew this was my new home. Most of the people are just like me.  They work hard, they play hard, and the passion they have for their sports team is unlike anywhere in the world. I had passion for my team just like the fans.  I guess I was kind of like the fans except I had a courtside seat for free and if we were up by 20 with less than two minutes to play I would get to go into the game.  Where was I – the great American city of Boston.  In Boston, people’s passion can be overwhelming.  But it drove me.  The Celtics hadn’t won a championship since the Larry Bird era of the 80s, so I wanted to give them hope when I could.  I wanted to inspire them when I could.  My relationship with Boston became bigger than basketball.  I didn’t realize that when I left Boston in free agency four years ago.  I do now.”

Read the rest of the letter here:

Hilarious stuff here from our old friend Scal.  Obviously this is complete satire but I couldn’t help but feel like Scal was completely serious when he wrote this.  Like he actually feels like it’s his calling to come home to Boston.  And you know what?  I think he’s right.  Boston needs Scal and Scal needs Boston.  After all, Boston basically created the legend of Brian Scalabrine.  When he played for the New Jersey Nets from 2001-2005, no one knew or really cared who he was.  When he came to Boston, we embraced his hustle, his red hair, and his overall passion for the game as he attempted to compete against players who were far more athletic and agile than him.  We couldn’t wait for the clock to wind down to the last couple minutes of a blowout game at the Garden so we could chant “Scal-a-brine!” until Doc had no choice but to put him in the game.  Then when he would hit a meaningless three in garbage time, the building would get so loud that you would think Pierce had just buried another game-winner.  All of that stuff began in Boston and followed him to Chicago, and there is no chance that he would have been the fan-favorite that he was with the Bulls if we hadn’t worshiped him the way we did in Beantown.  It’s only right that he comes back home, even if it’s just as a broadcaster.

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