This August has been the slowest Boston sports month in years. The last time the Red Sox were outside the playoff picture during August was in 2015, but that’s when the deflategate nonsense was dominating headlines. You’d have to go back to the summer of 2014 when the Sox had returned to last place, the Bruins were coming off an extremely disappointing second round loss to the Canadiens, and the Celtics’ future was uncertain after their worst season in seven years. The Pats were surrounded by hype following the signing of Darrelle Revis, but Brady and Belichick were trying to win their first Super Bowl in a decade and revive their dynasty.
It’s been a wild ride ever since. For the past five years, every month has featured either 1) a team (or teams) competing for a title or at least a playoff run, 2) an overhyped Patriots scandal, or 3) trades and free agent signings, whether it be rumors or the real thing. Over that span, we’ve seen four parades with the Bruins coming up just shy of adding a fifth. We’ve grown so accustomed to our sports teams always being a topic of discussion that months like this one stand out due to a lack of intriguing stories.
The Red Sox have been uninteresting all season so nobody wants to waste any breath talking about the embarrassingly slim chance that they’ll be playing in October. They actually started August by winning three out of four against the Yankees, but that was the last time they gave us any reason to be optimistic. They’re currently on a meaningless five-game winning streak while still sitting 5.5 games out of a Wild Card spot. Nobody has said a word about the Bruins since their heartbreaking Game 7 loss, we’re all eager to watch the Celtics but August is traditionally the slowest NBA month of the year, the Patriots got through the off-season scandal-free, and preseason football is only slightly more entertaining than the Pro Bowl.
But we finally made it. The most boring Boston sports month in recent memory has come to a close. The Patriots will play a meaningful football game next week after they raise their sixth Super Bowl banner at Gillette. We get to go from watching shitty middle relievers stumbling through four-hour losses, to witnessing the greatest football player of all-time try to add to his already untouchable legacy. I’m usually not one to get too excited about September football because I understand that the Pats tend to use it as an extended preseason to fix their weaknesses, but I can’t remember the last time I was this sports-deprived. My tolerance for non-stop action has gone through the roof in recent years and I need my fix. Nine more days.